“Have the self-respect & confidence to live life on your own terms”
Benjamin P. Hardy
For a long time, I think was just surviving. Every day felt like a struggle to get from one thing to another, get up, get ready, get child ready, get dog walked, drop off child, get to work, get work done, collect child, get dinner ready, bedtime and crash. Get up and repeat. And repeat. Daily feelings of guilt for not doing enough or being enough, wanting to do more but not being able to push through the barriers, my own barriers.
It was a culmination of events that led be to literally saying I can’t do this anymore. I have always been an impulsive cease the day person and I was quite far away from this - from who I am as a person. I was an anxious, stressed and really not the most pleasant to be around.
What has helped?
1. Implementing boundaries.
Setting boundaries does not always come easily but they are crucial to our personal well-being. Knowing and clearly defining what your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries are with strangers, work colleagues, friends, family, and intimate partners is key. Think about why they are important, your values and then communicate this, ground yourself and be assertive.
2. De-cluttering ‘toxic’ factors.
Evidence suggests that decluttering physical space reduces stress, helps fight depression, makes it easier to focus, promotes healthier eating and improves air quality. It isn’t just physical space that sometimes need decluttered – we should create positive emotional spaces around us and sometimes this means letting go of friendships, partnerships, etc…that do not serve us anymore.
3. Scheduling my time.
I love a good list but that was not supporting my well-being. I now schedule everything including my breaks. You can start by doing a time audit of what you spend your time doing every day – you might think you spend 30 minutes on emails every day but actually that is where most of your time goes. I now no longer look at emails before 11. Plan your day/ week ahead, include everything you need to do and focus on your 3 most important tasks every day. Spend 5 minutes at the end of your day planning your next day. Don’t multi-task and plan a buffer into your scheduling.